It's a proud moment.

It's also a legal turning point that many families don't fully appreciate.

When your child turns 18, they become a legal adult. While that birthday may not feel much different than the day before, the law sees it very differently. As a parent, you generally no longer have automatic authority to access your child's medical information, communicate with their college about certain records, or manage financial matters on their behalf.

Most parents don't discover this until they're faced with an emergency.

That's why one of the most important conversations you can have before your child leaves for college has nothing to do with class schedules, meal plans, or dorm essentials. It has to do with making sure a few key legal documents are in place before they're needed.

AN ADVANCE HEALTH CARE DIRECTIVE GIVES SOMEONE A VOICE IN AN EMERGENCY

Imagine receiving a phone call that your child has been seriously injured in an accident hundreds of miles from home.

What that means is that they would have to go to court to get access to your financial accounts, be able to pay your bills, and make financial decisions when you can’t. 

We've seen this happen far too often. We've gotten calls from clients' adult children who are standing at a bank counter, valid POA in hand, being told the document is "too old" or that the bank has its own form. By the time anyone calls me, they're in crisis mode, and the options are much more limited than they would have been six months earlier.

Our job is to make sure that never happens to your family.

WHAT WE SEE WHEN THE PLAN ISN'T COMPLETE

Here's the scenario we hear most often. A parent has a stroke. The adult child, named as an agent on a durable POA for years, goes to the bank to pay bills, cover care expenses, and keep the household running.

What they rarely picture is what happens in the days and weeks before anyone can act: while the courts sort it out, while the family waits, while everything that was carefully built sits in limbo.

Tony Hsieh spent his career building things that worked. He turned a struggling online shoe company into a billion-dollar brand and wrote a bestselling book about it: Delivering Happiness. He spent his career publicly, vocally devoted to the idea that joy was something you could design, build, and give to people. And then he left the people he loved with one of the most painful, chaotic estate situations in recent memory.

He never built a plan for what would happen when he was gone.

When Tony died on November 27, 2020, at 46, in a house fire in New London, Connecticut, he left behind an estate estimated in the hundreds of millions. He also left behind no will, no trust, and no instructions for the people who loved him.

What his family inherited instead was a legal crisis that would play out in courtrooms and headlines for years. And the hardest part? None of it had to happen. Not a single day of it.

An estate plan ensures any medical decisions needed while away from home  will be handled according to your wishes, and with as much ease as possible, no matter what the rules are where something happens. If you fall ill or become injured and can’t make medical decisions for yourself, your estate plan will ensure that decisions will be made by the person you choose, and with your indicated desires for your care at the forefront.

Without an estate plan in place, your family or friends could have a heavy lift to get you back home, locate your assets, keep your bills paid, and even ensure your children get taken care of by the right people in the right way.

Lastly, an estate plan ensures that any debts or liabilities are taken care of properly in case something happens while on vacation. This can help prevent creditors from trying to collect from surviving family members after the fact — something no one wants to deal with during such a difficult time.

And a story that's been playing out in the courts since 2022 shows exactly what that looks like up close.

When actress Anne Heche died following a car accident in August 2022, she left behind an estate with about $110,000 in assets and more than $6 million in creditor claims, incomplete financial records, and a son in his early twenties who suddenly found himself appointed by a court to sort it all out. As of early 2026, that estate is still not closed. Nearly four years later, the family is still in the middle of it.

That's what happens without a plan. And the good news is, it doesn't have to happen to yours. Here's what this story reveals about poor recordkeeping, the burden placed on young adults, what creditors can do to an unprotected estate, and why the right planning makes all the difference.

IS YOUR FINANCIAL LIFE A MYSTERY, EVEN TO YOU?

One of the most quietly devastating details in the Heche story is this: her son Homer couldn't account for all of her assets and income because the records simply weren't there.

One option you might be considering for protecting your assets from these events is a prenuptial agreement.

However, even bringing up a prenup can be a romance killer that creates friction and distrust before the marriage even begins. And if it’s not properly created and executed, a divorce court can invalidate the asset protections offered by a prenup, so such agreements don’t exactly provide airtight protection.

Plus, a prenup would do nothing to keep your family out of court and out of conflict should you become incapacitated or when you die, which is something everyone who gets married needs to consider.

That said, prenups aren’t your only option. With proactive estate planning, for example, you can structure your assets in such a way that not only protects them from being lost to divorce, but also provides for both your future spouse and any children you may have from a previous marriage in the event of your death or incapacity.

You may also be worried that suggesting a prenuptial agreement could hurt your future spouse by making him or her feel as if you don’t trust them, thereby creating friction before the marriage even begins.

While such concerns are valid, you should know that prenups aren’t your only option for shielding your assets from these scenarios. With a well-designed estate plan, for example, you can structure your assets in such a way to keep what you have safe, provide for your future spouse in the event of your death, and also protect your assets in the event of a divorce. In this way, you can avoid having the prenup conversation all together.

We do recommend talking with your future spouse about your assets, what would happen in the event of your death, and also making plans in advance so you can feel confident that any children from a prior marriage (or an expected inheritance) are well-planned for no matter what happens. In this two-part series, we'll first discuss the pros and cons of prenuptial agreements, and then in part two, provide estate-planning alternatives you may want to consider.

But in a blended family, the dynamic is completely different.

In this blog article, you will learn what normally happens when spouses in blended families leave everything to each other, why children from a first marriage are often accidentally disinherited, how court battles unfold, and what you can do now to protect the people you love from conflict.

WHY "I LEAVE EVERYTHING TO MY SPOUSE" FEELS RIGHT

Most couples in blended families create simple wills that say, "I leave everything to my spouse." They also name each other as beneficiaries on their retirement accounts and life insurance policies. It seems to make sense, right? You trust your spouse. You believe they will "do the right thing." You may even have said, "Of course you'll make sure my kids are taken care of."

There's evidence of this, too. While both of you are alive, the family may get along beautifully. Holidays are shared. Grandchildren visit. There is no visible tension. But the law does not enforce verbal promises. It enforces ownership.

Given this scale, understanding how these accounts transfer to beneficiaries after death isn't just important, it's essential to protecting your family's financial future.

The challenge is that retirement accounts sit at a unique intersection of beneficiary designation law, income tax rules, trust design, and post-death distribution requirements. This creates planning tension that shows up in almost every family situation: people want asset control and protection for their loved ones, but they also want to minimize tax consequences. With retirement accounts, those goals can work directly against each other.

In this blog article, you'll learn how the new tax law fundamentally changed distribution rules for inherited retirement accounts, which beneficiaries still qualify for favorable tax treatment, and how properly designed trusts can help address both tax concerns and protection needs for your family.

HOW TAX LAWS AFFECT RETIREMENT ACCOUNTS

Most inherited assets pass to beneficiaries income tax-free, but retirement accounts are an exception. Depending on the type of retirement account, withdrawals are subject to income tax that the beneficiary must report on their personal tax return. 

As a quick refresher, a “testamentary trust” is created in your will and only comes into existence after your estate goes through probate. As a result, your  family could wait many months, and sometimes even years, while the court oversees the process of probating your will and establishing your trust. If your objective is to keep your family out of court, and have total privacy after your incapacity or death, a testamentary trust won't accomplish that.

A living trust, created during your life, and properly “funded” will keep your family out of court, provide the privacy you likely want for them, and generally make things a lot easier for the people you love, when something happens to you. 

In this blog article, I'll explain how living trusts provide those  benefits, help you weigh the tradeoffs between the two  approaches, and explain how to be your own best advisor, and make informed decisions.